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Reflections

Essays from Kristy Forbes exploring PDA, autistic experience, parenting, identity, care, systems and the ordinary moments that shape family life.

Browse by topicPDAParentingAutistic experienceNervous systemBurnout

We bring our children home.

Jul 22, 2021
We bring our children home
From failed systems
That have been enabled not to care
Not to care for our children
 
For us; when we were the children
We educate our children
And while trying to create a safe sp
...
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Where my grief came from.

Jul 15, 2021
This morning as I was barefoot walking through the garden, connecting with the earth, I felt a deep sadness come over me.
 
My instinct was to push the sadness away and to think of something else fast in order to
...
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An invitation to lead with love.

Jun 17, 2021
Contrary to popular parenting advice, the time when our children return to the safety of our energy after being in trouble is not the time to lecture.
 
It is not the time to remind our babies why we were angry o
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Food, glorious food!

Jun 04, 2021

Trigger Warning: Mentions food, eating disorders and sensory aversions.

Please note the below is my personal experience and I am not a qualified medical professional or dietician.

 

Food. Glorious food.

Let’s talk ab...

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When there's not enough processing time.

Apr 29, 2021
Parenting is tough.
 
Being autistic and parenting can be challenging when we share the same sensory challenges as our little people and need time and space to be calm.
 
Today we had a tricky moment and I
...
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Awareness month? Nah, not over here.

Apr 01, 2021
This morning I'm reminded of an appointment with an obstetrician in the public system seven years ago.
 
I was heavily pregnant with my last baby.
 
He was going over my subsequent pregnancies and deliverie
...
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Repeat after me... "I am not my child."

Mar 25, 2021
People need the space and freedom to feel; to explore and understand the incredibly complex depth and range of their emotional life.
 
This begins in childhood.
 
As children, particularly autistic children
...
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You might be doing it wrong.

Feb 04, 2021

Many parents and educators will often witness behaviour from neurodivergent people and find it baffling or confusing because they’re unable to connect it to a particular and recent event.


Being autistic means my process...

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PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and villains.

Dec 28, 2020
Why do so many children with a PDA autistic profile take on the character of a villain, a bad guy or a monster, werewolf, zombie, anything that seems a disapproved of figure?
 
Because we come to understand very
...
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Her behaviour was unacceptable.

Dec 04, 2020

(Shared with permission from my adult daughter.)

 

Cleaning out the shed today, I found a box of things collected since my teens.

I felt such sadness when I found this.

I was 18 when my first baby was born.

I was

...
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