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Reflections

Essays from Kristy Forbes exploring PDA, autistic experience, parenting, identity, care, systems and the ordinary moments that shape family life.

Perfectionism, Perception and PDA

Oct 07, 2025

I was discussing with a friend and fellow PDAer yesterday how challenging it can be to realise I am not being 100% honest with myself and/or others when trying to seek support. To be more specific, I was discussing how, ...

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To Struggle Is To Be Human

Sep 27, 2025

Our children struggling does not immediately indicate that we are not doing enough, or that we are missing some crucial information. To struggle is to be human and ourĀ behaviour is not the problem - it’s an end result, o...

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Beyond Compliance: Why Our Children Deserve More Than Declarative Language

Sep 20, 2025

It is disheartening to constantly see the ongoing repetition of themes such as declarative language (which is more often than not, grossly misunderstood and misused) to disguise demands for PDAers. This is but one exampl...

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The Politics of Childhood: Why Compliance Isn’t the Goal

Sep 14, 2025

Existing, being human, is political; and political persuasion begins at home.

We are all part of the collective, and we all live within the systems that harm the most vulnerable, the marginalised, and the hypermarginali...

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PDA Parenting Isn’t Perfect: It’s Real, Raw, and Relational

Sep 07, 2025

One night, not so long ago, we had a PDA standoff.. well, not really a 'stand off' but a "let's see which PDAer can hang in there the longest" with one of my PDAers.

It's shower night. I reminded them.

"Nah, I'm good" sa...

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Is this my child's lack of gratitude, or is it my grief?

Aug 31, 2025

Is this my child’s lack of gratitude, or is it my grief?

There are times I catch myself thinking my child is ā€˜ungrateful’ for the life they have the privilege of having.

So many of us will recall being told as children...

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A Letter to Myself at 7, and the Life I Lived to Write Back

Aug 24, 2025

"Dear kristy,

I love my parents I want to be a hair-dresser when I grow up. I wont be a murderer I will be a tenderly loving person. My birthday is in july the thirteerth I'm in year two. I made my first holy (commo) com...

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The pressure to ā€œfixā€ autistic kids is hurting families

Aug 04, 2025

I’ve been raising, loving and supporting my own autistic children (four of them: 27, 20, 14 and 11) for 27 years this year. We’re a completely autistic family, with additional forms of divergence thrown in for good measu...

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PDA accommodations for children can be challenging for parents and carers to identify

Jul 31, 2025


My youngest says "No" and all its variations in response to almost every request I make of them.


And I don't flinch.

This is an accommodation. It is a means of balancing what feels off kilter for a PDAer when a demand is p...

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Advocacy for Education is not an attack on Educators

May 20, 2025

Ā 

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Whenever I write or speak about barriers to education for autistic children, or inaccessibility, or childism or discrimination, I am always met by those interpreting my lived experience as a direct attack on educat...

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